Hogan knows best

This show is crazy. It's just crazy that Hulk Hogan has a reality show. The guy we all watched as we grew up. It's just funny and nice how it reinforces that he is just a normal dad. Dealing with all the normal things dad's deal with..... all be it with a bit more money. I guess vh1 picked the right wwf star, err I mean wwe. The big yellow dodge ram suites him well. It's awesome that he son is really into supra's.

more later,........

Lost

where you can't be

A horrible event. Breath stolen from me by the one I love. Where I am is not where I should be, it's not where I want to be. I'm so in love, yet I haven't given her what she needs. I haven't shown her how I feel. I just haven't expressed my love in the way she wants. She says that everything I've said to her has been said in the past by others. This may be true, but when I say those things I put every bit of myself into them. She is my heart, she is what I want. She is who I want to be with for the rest of my life. I see such amazing things in her. Her love, her strength, her passion... passion something I lack right now, something I have to find. Not just for the sake of my love but for me as well. I do feel as though someone has knocked the breath out of me though. Maybe it's a wake up. The one things I'm certain of is that she is the best part of my life and I need to let her know that every moment. I let her down last night, by not being there when she needed me. This is something that hurt her and all I want to do is make it better. How though, that's the question.

All I can do is change, become someone better. It's all in my power to change the things that she doesn't like about my life, the things I don't like about my life. I just hope that she don't think I've taken her for granted... this isn't even a possibility, she knows that my heart beats her name.

more in a bit, I have to clear my head..........

this is all we know

It's funny how people always say change is possible. How if you want to be different then you can change. I have in recent days come to the conclusion that is bullshit. Over the pass six or seven years of my life I have heard a few things mentioned over and over again. No matter how much I think I have changed or 'grown" as a person the same things happen. Why is this? Is this some sort of loop that all humans are caught up in. Is this the meaning of life? What I mean is that once we see the loop and is it for us to break this loop.... I do believe this is what some of our destiny is comprised of... not all of it but a part. Now I'm wondering how often this sort of thing happens. Does it happen to everyone or just us unlucky bastards? Well, apparently I'm full of questions. I guess that is a good thing. I'm not ready to settle for what may be before me, instead I choose to make myself. No one is going to do it for me. I'm certainly not going to win the lottery any time soon.

So now seeing the loop that is part of my life I have to find a way to break it and change what is set for me. Or maybe it is set for me to break this loop. Who knows and now I've gone deeper than any of us can find an answer for.... neat huh?